Cloud Break

“If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is thank you, it will be enough.”
– Meister Eckhart

The sun’s warmth is all the more brilliant after a cloudy day, and the hope in my heart feels all the more precious after a period of mourning. While I will no doubt soon enough be reminded that grief is a circular process and the sadness will pull me under yet again, in this moment I feel the hope that is mine from the tenderest place within my being and I am grateful.

This is not a hope born of external circumstance. Nothing has changed really.

This is a hope born simply, profoundly, of it’s own accord. It is the essence of me dancing with the very spirit of life. And it is joy.

Yesterday… I grieve the loss of what I once loved, the life that was mine as a suburban pastor with tenure and respect. Tomorrow… totally uncertain and may include words and numbers, blogging and classroom teaching, new learning and familiar skills; frightening if I look for definition for it is not yet apparent.

The hope that is mine, palpable in this January sunshine, is about neither yesterday nor tomorrow. The hope is in the peace that I feel in this very moment; the surety that the connection that is mine in this moment connects me with what it is that I need for all time.

Perhaps it is a place of humility, this hope that I feel. In this moment I am not dogged by the hubris that I must create a spectacular next chapter of my life nor the humiliation of defeat in closing the last. In this moment I am aware that I am right where I need to be; quiet, open, waiting.

Breathing in this gift of hope, this moment of peace, one more shackle falls and I, with Meister Eckhart, pray the most important prayer of all time, “thank you”.